what my fourth positive pregnancy test taught me (+ a giveaway)

It was the day after Thanksgiving, a year ago. I remember making an extra stop at the closest dollar store that day to pick up a pregnancy test, thinking "it's got to be negative, no way it's positive, but just to be sure..."

Ha! One thing to be sure about in life: When you're definitely sure the pregnancy test is going to be negative, but you're taking it just-in-case--that's a pretty good sign to go ahead and order the newborn diapers and wipes.

Photo: the day before the big news hit.

Sean came home and I immediately departed to pick up the best home pregnancy test I could find (which is definitely not found at a dollar store). Back at home, this one came out positive, too. Surprise, surprise.

My mind immediately began spinning with questions that had no good answers: Where would we put this new baby? Do we find out the gender this time? What makes me think I'm ready for another baby? If it's a boy, do I giveaway all the girl baby clothes? How will I handle four little kids? How will we pay for college four times over? College? Heck, how about parochial grade school tuition? AND HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??!!!? (well, that question did have an obvious answer.) : /

In all this pending uncertainty, I wondered how different life would look after this fourth baby's arrival.

My third baby taught me definitively that I'm the mom--I'm the authority on my kids. And now, this fourth baby has taught me a most important lesson: I can choose my attitude. And the attitude I should always chose, no matter the circumstance, is gratitude.

I saw this Ann Voskamp quote forever ago, but it has stuck with me:

via

"Everyone gets to decide how happy they want to be. Because everyone gets to decide how grateful they are willing to be."

I can choose to be an irritated mess each morning because I've been up all night with the baby. Or I can slurp some coffee and chose to be grateful that my baby is home with me and not in the hospital.

I can choose to be depressed that labor + delivery ate a good-sized chunk out of our savings and delayed our house projects. Or I can snuggle my kids on the sofa we bought years ago as newlyweds and chose to be grateful we have a perfectly wonderful home, dated kitchen cupboards and all.

I can choose to envy the families that are out of babyhood and survival mode. Or I can stop and smell the top of my baby's head.

Get used to church bathroom selfies with your mom, kiddo.

I can choose to be frustrated that going to the grocery store takes a double stroller, 6 reusable bags, a baby sling AND a bribery stop at the bakery counter--and that's all before I go grab one gallon of milk. Or, I can choose to be grateful for never having to wonder if there's enough money in the account to cover milk, eggs and diapers.

I'm much more aware now, too, that at a minimum, I have two bigger sets of eyes observing me--and my boys' observations are likely to stick with them. Children watch. And they learn. Modeling gratitude for them now is essential.

So. Thank you for making it through this little post :) Now on to the fun part!

1. Comment below and tell me one thing you are grateful for today, and you'll be entered to win a $50 gift certificate to Diapers.com!

2. Sharing the Facebook post for this contest will earn you 1 extra entry.

3. Winner to be picked in one week

 This giveaway is a partnership with Nakturnal, with a prize of a gift certificate.

Update! This giveaway is closed. The winner was Rachel! Thank you to all who commented and shared on facebook.