I am the very model of a modern part-time blogger.
Only, when saying that, the author generally knows that it was less of the readers missing the author, and more the author missing the fulfillment of completing post after well-researched timely post. We all want to be like those successful writers--the ones who, day in and day out, post something novel, thought-provoking and downright profound on their webpages. But the truth is, most of us are not. I'm not, at least. Not by far. I haven't figured out my life enough to find the time.
Sickness is hard. Motherhood is hard. Marriage is hard but it's not as time consuming, generally speaking, as those first two. In the weeks and months since I first wrote about my husband's illness, I've swapped reading political news for chronic disease discussion boards; religious journals for dietary supplement catalogues; facebook updates for updates from our wonderful internist, who practices two states away. We feel like we're closer to an answer, but results from our current treatment are still many months out. It's an optimistic waiting game, but it's a game filled, nonetheless, with the many pains, aches and sufferings that Sean has endured for over a decade now.
Mixed into that, I continued to try and be the best mother I can. My 11-month-old charmer giggles impulsively, waves to anything that moves, and is fiercely determined to "walk" from room to room, albeit holding both of mom or dad's hands. But crawling? Oh, no. Heck no! Why would he be interested in such an, er, pedestrian mode of transportation when he can be a true pedestrian with mom or dad's help?! Sigh. We all want our kids to be above average, but if they can't be there, we want them to at least be normal. As it is, God has blessed us with a beautiful, healthy little lovebug who may very well be "late" with his baby milestones. So be it. Praise God for it all.
And so, after cutting it out entirely, I'm slowly mixing writing and social reading back into my daily routine, while trying to keep the other balls in the air. Because of all the things you can do "part-time," sickness and motherhood just aren't on that list.
I've missed this blog and the sweet people that have taken the time to read it. Thank you for going through this journey, even if only online, with me and my family. God willing, my self-imposed hiatus has come to a close.